I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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