And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
