We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This is my gift to your gina
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
