In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
