Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
