i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sorry about my life...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
