i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
