In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
