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"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
