He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
