So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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