I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
