he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come share oat with me in your robe
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
