I wish I could punch you in the face.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
