Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
