My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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