i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
