at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
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