DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you inspire me to be a worse person
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
