Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
