I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
