Apparently you make a good broom.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
