a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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