dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
