If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
