i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
