she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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