There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He literally asked permission to hit on me
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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