You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Randomize
