Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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