NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
