I am puke
just tell him i said nine months
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
