Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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