Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
