I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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