I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
