Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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