so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
