We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
