Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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