Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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