I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
