Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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