Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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