Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
