She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
