so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Randomize
