I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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