I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
