Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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