oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize