Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
