okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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