Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
