I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize