i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
