I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
