Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
