You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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