You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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