can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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