If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You did what with his pubic hair?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
