Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
whose parrot is this?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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