They should really pass out barf bags in church
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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