found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
