So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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